Exit, pursued by a bear

the one where I try to write and like pretty things

This is a really long post but it has a happy ending, srsly, thanks, ufyh lady. You’re cooler than batman.

So yesterday I cleaned my desk, which had coffee gunk and coins stuck to it:

image

image

And then I realized I’d never posted my epic post of epicness about how ufyh changed my life, which I’d totally meant to get to earlier. See, the story goes like this:

I knew I’d had a mental illness since high school, but I was like ‘I’m dealing well, I don’t need no doctors!!’ and hadn’t gone and gotten it diagnosed. Cue college and an epic meltdown of awful proportions where it went from 0 to 100 all of a sudden, and suddenly I was a 24 year-old college dropout living with my parents and working minimum wage jobs, and I still wasn’t diagnosed or being treated, to the point where I couldn’t pull it together long enough to make it through driver’s ed.

Naturally, my room was a bit of a mess.

I came across ufyh and thought it sounded like a cool idea. I cleaned up a few times and tried to stick to it (around march of last year? I think I’d submitted a few posts), but I just couldn’t manage 20/10s. 20 minutes was just too much, and I kept sliding back into messy awfulness - to the point that you often literally couldn’t see my floor, and sometimes I’d have so much stuff on my bed I’d just shove some of it off to make a five-by-two space and sleep there).

So one day I got upset and said - well, who needs 20/10s? The ufyh lady says do what you can, and I can manage 5 minutes!

And I started cleaning my room in spurts of 3 to 6 minutes. Sometimes I could go for hours, sometimes I only managed one a day. Often I’d go a whole weekend without doing anything at all. But slowly (sooo slowly), things started to look a little cleaner.

I lost my original pictures in a computer crash, but I’ve got several from the midway point:

image


^^That’s from one of the times when I was cleaning under my bed, hence why my bed is so shoved to the side and there’s more stuff on it. But otherwise, that’s what my floor used to be like, and that’s actually really clean from what my desk used to be.

image

^^This was actually after several weeks where I did a bunch of mini cleaning sessions a day. I had, at this point, donated roughly half my wardrobe (which is good. I had stuff in there from 7th grade. That’s 13 years of keeping things) and thrown out several trash bags full of junk.

Doing it in such short bursts (I literally did not do one longer than 7 minutes), it took almost four months to get it really clean, and another to clear out the last of the clutter, but this morning I woke up, didn’t do anything to clean except fold my pjs and make my bed, and this was the result:

image

image

image

image

Oh yeah.

And I had totally meant to do put up this post (and say a million thanks to the ufyh lady) a couple of months ago, but I’ve been pretty busy, see, because once I had my room clean (and have kept it clean for like five months now), I was like - well, if I did that I can do anything!!! within reason, maybe? And (with the help of some friends who were worried for me and had been nagging in a loving way for ages, without which I couldn’t have done anything really) I went to the doctor and got some rocking medications and psychiatric referrals and shit.

I’ve still got a long way to go, of course - it looks like bipolar, but they’re still trying different meds out, and life and finances are hard even when you’re not kind of an accidental deadbeat, but things are generally trending upward: I’m getting my driver’s license in a few weeks and saving up for a car, I’m going to school next spring to get some sort of certification to get a better job (so I can eventually finish the degrees I was working on before everything snowballed), and I’m back in touch with all the friends I’d bailed on and have a social life again, which is fantastic :D.

Oh, and now that I’m getting my brain properly treated, I’ve got my mind back, and I can concentrate and focus enough that I’m finally going to finish the gosh darned novel I’ve been working on for years and do - god, so many things that I hadn’t been able to for ages. And yesterday, after cleaning my desk, I got inspired and said - hey, maybe I’ll do a 20/10 and vacuum/clean the living room!

And I went to the living room and - well, I didn’t do a 20/10.

I did two 45/15s.

Best. Day. Ever. :D.

  1. llamacadet reblogged this from schweinsty
  2. alessandriana reblogged this from schweinsty and added:
    Congrats, love, that is really amazing.
  3. blinkandyamissit reblogged this from unfuckyourhabitat
  4. countryangel66 reblogged this from schweinsty and added:
    This is so inspiring to me. I may try 5 minutes tomorrow!